Essay 2000

Toward A Fuller, Freer, Fairer, FRIENDLIER Democracy!

Warm greetings to EveryBody. You have reached the commercial web-site of the Oregon Committee to Re-Elect NOBODY for President. If you find yourself amused (or not amused) at what we are offering in the way of a product, you may (or may not) be interested in checking out what we are offering in the way of ideas and a proposed course of action.

It is out of an ongoing concern for which paths our Country takes to make its date with the future, that we have not limited ourselves to merely an Outrageous Product. We also serve up Comment to match. Hey, if the clowns running for High Office and the Parties that back them are not careful, our doughty little candidate (a T-shirt!) may very well make more of a showing at the polls in 2000 than AnyBody would have thought. And beyond?.... Doesn't it make you wonder just what kind of hot date we might have with Ms.Democracy in Our future?

Maybe we'll even get lucky and score!

Killer T-Shirt Stalks Dark Night of Election Year Politics

Infrequently, but often enough to be a recognizable part of the American political wastelandscape, a candidate for high elective office that NOBODY thought would win, goes on to a surprise victory. This rare breed is called a Dark Horse Candidate. We are willing to go out on a limb and predict that this T-shirt, or what it represents, is such a candidate. Maybe not in this election, but the next, or the next.

Knowing quite well that our candidate does not exactly qualify to run for the Presidency does not bother us in the least. It is the idea behind it that counts. It makes as much sense to us, more actually, to run a T-shirt for President.....maybe the Pet Rock will make a come back in 2004, who knows, or Dan Quayle; and would Anybody be able to tell the difference?.....why waste even one more vote on another stuffed suit.

Our "non-campaign" is more issue oriented. This cross between a Nearly All Male, Miss America Beauty Pageant, and a T,V.Game Show with a seven second sound byte that manages to last four years, may have its charms...however. Doesn't it make you wonder what George, you know, that fine man on our $1 bill, would think of the show- all of today's political flash? Doesn't it make you wonder what our first Presidents would think of the last several President's? Do you really think that Mr. Washington or Mr. Jefferson would appreciate, or enjoy sitting down and eating with them at a barbecue, or really approve of any of them? We doubt it very much. Today's "presidential material" seems to be suffering from the same disorder that the political parties running them for office are subject to. And what is that disorder? We are not quite sure what to name it, but in our humble opinion, it ain't very American.

...Nobody for President! Who is going to take that seriously? Answer: A lot of people do in the form of putting "None of the Above" on all the ballots at every level of electoral politics. Where it belongs. Why ? If for no other reason than to keep politics and politicians honest. Now there's a nearly impossible task! Politics is near absolute proof that it is not only cream that rises to the top, but scum. And there are plenty of instances of both around to study for comparison. But to "Clean up Politics"?

We simply must be joking!

Nobody but NOBODY could do this.

Do you want proof? Let's test it out huh? Anybody want to see "None of the Above" on their ballot? Any takers on just how popular voting would once again become if it were?

We'd be willing to bet that Nobody would win hands down.

Why?

Now there's a question that begs a real answer.

Adding "None of the Above" on the ballot would give the reigning political parties some honest competition. We feel this one measure would be bound to give US a much better Democracy. It would provide US an excellent means to test, prove and improve what we have. Just how real is our present form of democracy?

Do you even want to know the answer to that one?

Well this is certainly a way to find out!

Here's another question that NOBODY wants answered. Who do you think would win this election if "None of the Above" were listed as a legitimate voter's choice? Bush? Gore? Our guess is that people would come out of the woodwork to vote. Even those that haven't bothered for 20 years or more. A goodly portion of the young vote would eat it up, as a matter of principle. And good for them! The Demicans and the Republicrats would just about be sunk. Outvoted. Like it or not, this would really be Democracy in action! And honest too.

At Long Last! A Candidate worth voting for!

Nobody's Dreams Coming True. What we are interested in doing at this time is to start a dialogue with the American Dream and to begin to probe the National Conscience (or what is left of it) in a friendly yet ruthless fashion. This sort of "doctoring" on a nationwide level is currently very much in vogue. Everyone from Rush Limbaugh to Dr. Ruth and Jerry Springer are getting in on the act. Why not us? A little bit of good ol' organic hippie psychology and pollytikin might work wonders for this nation. It has before you know. And really, who knows exactly all of what it might take to fully satisfy the American palette for discussion, dialogue & debate and downright heated argument? (If you do, we might have a job opening for you) All of which is after all, part of the democratic process in action too. So to help keep things honest, livened up, and entertaining, we are adding our Two Cents to the mix. We are doing exactly what the Fed does with its fiscal practices. We are calling .02¢ a whole dollar!

Nobody Transcends the Usual Political Boundaries. Considering what we are offering on this site, many will say that we are not sincere or properly serious about a very serious matter, the choosing of a President. It is a serious matter though, having nothing more to choose from than a line-up of choices ranging from Pretty Poor down to...well, G.W. Bush jr. See what we mean? This poor pass doesn't reflect well on the Two Big Parties does it? (So when is a democracy defined by two big monolithicpoliticalbuttbuddyparties huh?) And... where's a statesman when we need one? Would America even appreciate a statesman nowadays? Doubtful. We haven't had one at the helm for so long. Have you noticed that pretty much all we have had to choose from for a good while now, is lineup after lineup of cheap politicians? Of course that is one of the defining features of the era we live in, isn't it? Politics now days, either cheap or expensive.

It's still well...cheap.

You think we're not serious? Nothing could be further from the truth. We are the only Political "Party" that can truthfully say we endorse all the candidates: NOBODY for Bush! NOBODY for Gore!...ad nausueum. We can take this endorsement a lot further than that. NOBODY is better than Bush! NOBODY is better than Gore! See how easy that was? And how true. When the election dust has settled, and the next President has been elected, we will be able to safely and quite truthfully say that NOBODY WINS AND EVERYBODY LOSES.

NOBODY Promises "No $1000 a Plate Funding Dinners. Ever!" Just this T-shirt Along with some good ol' word of mouth, a whole lot of work, AND this Exercise in 1st Amendment Rights...will do the job. Or not. Your Choice. It may be that if this proposed course of action is taken seriously and acted upon by sufficient numbers, that a goodly number of Our Favorite Causes will benefit. There are some really great ideas and solutions to many of our problems that are being kept back by this sociopolitical logjam we have been experiencing, that would be helped along. When the front door is locked and barred, try the back! Write in NOBODY! Being that "None of the Above" has not been put on the ballot as that Universal yet very Individual Check to Balance ALL governmental excesses, it is then our studied belief that a National Protest Vote is the best way available to US at this late date, to go about addressing grievances, reforming government and righting many a wrong. Think about it.

What may at first glance appear to be one of the strangest detours ever proposed in the history of American politics, just might be the shortest route home. The buck starts here. Certainly not all of the legacy of the receding 20th Century is worth taking with US into the future. Not if we really do have our next hot date with Ms. Democracy somewhere in that immediate future. What we want to make sure of, is that we, meaning US, is there to keep that date. For EveryBody.

Here's...OUR GUARANTEE:

Only NOBODY can guarantee Your Vote isn't being Short-circuited & Shortsheeted.

& Only NOBODY can guarantee Fully Democratic Elections.

&...Only NOBODY can guarantee that any Candidate is actually the Majority's Choice.

...Any Takers?

Nobody Has Endorsements Like NOBODY: Besides a hearty, shall we say authoritative and perhaps even an enthusiastic nod from EveryBody's Uncle Sam, NOBODY is the only candidate that has the endorsement of every life-form (other than human) on the planet. Choosing our next leader you see, is more than a national matter. The entire planet has a stake in our presidential elections. That's no news, but this is something we usually think of in strictly human terms. Nothing could be further from the truth. Could you see a cetacean voting for Bush? We also doubt very much that Al Gore, you know, Mr.EnvironMentalSuperHighway, in spite of his much touted ecological stance, would even get the slug's vote. Ah, if only Trees had the vote...well in a very real way they do. All of God's critters are clocking in for NOBODY as the best choice for their rights, their well-being, their preservation. Likewise with the chinook or the sockeye salmon here in the Pacific Northwest, and all the other endangered species. Who do you think the lovely monarch butterfly, rapidly becoming endangered on the West Coast by a number of human caused problems, including the new obscene interest in transgenic crops, will be voting for? Quite simply, we humans are way outvoted. Sooner or later, we will fall in line with Nature's Choice of Candidate, simply because we must. So why wait? Start now by voting NOBODY. Nature no doubt, will find a way of rewarding you. And as well, Our Good Uncle will thank you for-
"putting your back into the cause of freedom, your shoulder to the old wheel."

Nobody Really Wants More than a Little Bit of Real Reform. Why should we? Everything is going along just fine the way it is. Isn't it? There ain't nothing wrong with the Electoral College any more than there is with our Wonderful Two Party system. That much is obvious. Both are the apex, the zenith, the absolute epitome of a real Democracy in action and can hardly be improved upon. If our system could be improved upon, by George, Thomas or Samuel we'da done it already! AND, the thing we like the best about both of these two ultra-democratic features of our political system, is that, neither of these time honored and hallowed institutions (sanctioned by God and George Washington no doubt), is that they are not subject to abuse and are firmly in the hands of the electorate.

We trust you realize that our present Two Party Political System has not even a little bit of sanction in our Constitution. Where'd we get saddled with that as gospel? This is not to say that it is Unconstitutional, but it is far from fair either. Two big old parties as well as the Electoral College are both manipulative in the extreme and virtually outmoded. The last thing that government should ever be, if it is to be fair, is manipulative. With the electoral college there is room to believe it ought to be abolished on a number of legal grounds. Why America has stood still for this one is an absolute mystery. If you've an interest in a real democracy, ban the damned College now.

Here is a Short Tale of the Excluded Middle. Once upon a time the very Thing that Power was based on was ignored by Power in hopes that this Thing would not upset that Power. Because Power feared the very Thing its Power was based on. Because Power invariably wants to believe that the Thing its Power is based on is itself. So this Thing Power was based on was "excluded" by various means. The most effective means of exclusion was simply not to include it. So a shell game was invented to hide, and thus exclude this Middle. Which did not mean that it did not exist. No, simply that it wasn't included. And, it did not mean this Thing that Power was based on was not Powerful, just because it was not included in the annals, the chronicles, the institutions and the codification's of Power. As time went on Power became more and more corrupt and arrogant in its use of Power, as Power is wont to do when divorced from its true Source. And there arose a cry in the land over Power's many abuses. But who or what could stand up to Power? For it takes Power to stand up to Power. And those in Power are anything if not careful, not to allow the escape of their Power into any hands except their own, for fear it would be stolen from them in much the same manner that it was stolen from its rightful possessors in the first place. Thus is the major fear of the powerful whose Power is based merely on the shell game.

Then the Excluded Middle was rediscovered. And the Balance between Right, Left and Center was Restored. Thus was Power was Renewed and Restored to its Rightful place; into the hands of EveryBody, and so was Power made friendlier,once it was Restored to itself. And EverBody benefited by this Restoration.

The question here is, which parts of this tale sounds like a fairy-tale to you, and which parts sound a whole lot like the way things are?

Here's a further question. Under the democratic voting process, can any one stop you from writing in Nobody? Is it illegal? Should it be? Should that stop Anybody who felt that such an act of "civil disobedience" was their duty? We posit in all due humility that "None of the Above" is indeed the excluded middle of the democratic process. It resides in the process automatically, unbidden. There is no way to remove it from the voting process upon which a democracy is based, without gutting that democracy. "None of the Above" on the ballot is the exact opposite and indeed the antidote for Voter Apathy, i.e., not voting. Look at it this way- Nobody Vote = the true "no confidence vote", in our political process. AND...Vote Nobody = an actual confidence vote in Our Ability as a people to know real value when we see it. Or are a particular set of candidates just more wooden nickels? This strikes to the absolute bone of the matter. It gives the electorate the power to either allow or to vote down. At this point, we do not have all of this power, only part. We are stuck with the shell game. With tweedle-dee dumbo and tweedle-dee donkey. Why can't we say "no way", to what we may feel like are all poor choices, in a positive, definitive manner? Instead our vote is restricted to what is largely a political party's choice for who we can vote for. This election is sure a case in point. We and a lot of other people we have been talking to, don't really want to vote for either of the primary candidates. Many people do not feel like throwing their vote away on a 3rd Party Candidate that cannot win because of the stranglehold our 2 Party System has on the election process. Sadly, it comes down to voting for the "lesser of two evils". It's either that or not voting, which altogether too many people do. Why? What are the causes of voter apathy, of poor voter turn-out? Could it be that putting "None of the Above" on the ballot could rejuvenate our ailing democracy like nothing else could?

We think so. In fact we are absolutely sure of it.

Why should one of the most important choices, choosing who gets to run for elective positions, be in the suspect hands of large political organizations? Why not our hands? This power should never be given over to any political parties. Ever. Why should we allow any party to dictate who our choices of leaders are? We as a people need a major check against such "partyism" We damned well have it if we are brave enough, independent minded enough and farsighted enough to use what we have in the way of voting power and quit wasting it on party politics until they straighten their act up. And it is pretty obvious to any clear thinker that they are entirely unwilling to incapable of straightening up on their own. They will need our help to do this. So lets help them out by voting NOBODY. This entire farce, this psuedo-democracy masquerading as the real thing can be overcome, starting now, by logging in at the polls in strong enough numbers to start the ball rolling. We invite you to participate in the first National Protest Vote ever.

Now For A Public Service Announcement

VOTE NOBODYAnd Keep Voting NOBODY Until "None Of the Above" Is Voted Onto The BALLOT

Where It Belongs!

This is Your Campaign. This is Everybody's Party.

This is even for Republicans! (well, at least for those who will think for themselves past the good ol' Party-line.) In short, "None of the Above" on the ballot will benefit Everybody Please Note that a National Protest Vote is unique in that it combines the Best in Civic Responsibility and Civil DisObedience. It will send the Clearest of Messages to Washington DC.This announcement is brought to you by the Oregon Committee to ELECT EVERYBODY for President!

The Fabulous Furry Freak Brothers! Urge You To Vote Nobody for President!

What Better Banner to Fly With in the Face of a Further Freedom?

It is an established fact that cartoonlike characters rule the world.

Everyone from Flash Gordon to the Easter Bunny. From Darth Vader, to yes, even the good old Uncle Sam. From Betty Crocker (yes, her too by now) to Betty Boop, to the Energizer Bunny. They all have one thing in common. THEY RULE! From 6 to 60, virtually Everybody would agree. The influence cartoon characters have on the real world is enormous. Call them archetypes if you will. This is where THE FABULOUS FURRY FREAK BROTHERS, Fat Freddy, Phineas and Freewheeling Franklin have it over Superman, Batman, or the Spiderman. Simply because THEY ARE MORE REAL. Yep. Realer than Santa Claus. All you have to do is walk down the streets of Any City USA and you will meet them a dozen times over. This is what we are counting on. This kind of reality is gonna save America's butt yet. Maybe even keep US a free country, with enough of our Environment and our Bill of Rights intact to be able to say FREE to the Earth and it's Peoples.

And have it mean something.

  So Whose is the Final Word in a Democracy?  The evolution of ever more democratic forms of social expression didn't get stuck at the Magna Charta level in the development of the idea of democracy.  Why should we assume that We have produced the last word in what has been pretty much a self-rated top-billing in "The World's Leading Democracy" department?   Whether we are or not may or may not be true.  It is certainly open for debate.  However this is not the point.  All too often it is used as the only semi-effective argument available to counter proposals for social change and improvement.

May we ask if there is anything wrong with making further attempt to really live up to the challenges a real democracy and a fair social order poses?

May we ask you this?  Do you think that humanity has evolved already, the peak, the pinnacle of their powers to build better and better democracies?   Whatever the future of this Grand Experiment in self-government and in democracy is called the USA may be and we truly wish it well ... we can only recommend building on what strengths our present democratic system does have.

Freedom cannot be "micro-managed" like a fascist state can be.  This alarms some who otherwise might find the idea if more freedom, not less, appealing.  On this, we are not quite sure what to say.  Perhaps the mere mention will suffice.

" ... it sure was a good idea, until greed got in the way."  Bob Dylan, Sundown On The Union

People Get the Kind of Government They Deserve.  Do you believe that?  We do.  Especially in a democracy.  We feel that EveryBody deserves better.

A bit of an afterward: Going forward toward a real "next-step" for democracy, as unlikely as it may seem in today's rather non-caring and careless socio-political climate, is nevertheless the direction we have been headed in for some time now. We feel that given what we know or can guess about the human spirit, that this is an inevitability. To do so would be nothing more than putting our best foot forward as a Country. Would it be too far off course here to state that the best foot is never the booted foot? There is good reason to believe that America, meaning Americans will solve our present "crisis of conscience and confidence"

How? Hmm. Good question. As a country,

we have made good before and we will end up doing it again.

Don't you think that this is good reason to feel pride in being an American?

Keeping the Spirit of '76 Alive Is NOBODY'S Business

(but yours and mine of course)

Underground cartoonist Gilbert Shelton in a stroke of what we consider to be sheer genius, patterned the NOBODY for President cartoon after Archibald Willard's painting, The Spirit of '76. Willard painted it circa 1876 for America's Centennial celebration. Here it is reinterpreted for a wholly new era and a new breed of American Revolutionary 100 years later in 1976. We feel it is quite in keeping with the advance it represents in the concept of Human Freedom. Both artists captured for their times, the Essential Spirit of Liberty that needs to continually be redefined (the banner updated!) in order to even begin to say it exists as something more than a relic gathering dust in the National Memory.

Our hats doffed to the courageous folk of all eras, past, present and future, who dedicate their "lives, fortunes and sacred honor" in the only cause worth fighting for; that of the preservation and the expansion of a responsible freedom. This expansion has taken many forms, but has always included for US and always will include for US, those basic human rights which are embedded in our Bill of Rights. Simply because dignity and a certain form of protection are encoded in it, if for no other reason. Protection from whom or what? Any abuses of government of course. This provides EveryOne with the balance necessary between the individual and any government. It provides the leveler, and really it is all we need, if these Rights are interpreted and applied correctly, i.e., the solution to good government. And right here is where we feel as foolish as schoolboys lecturing our elders, and well...our betters.

A comparison of the two paintings is instructive. The tone has changed. The mode has changed from one of grim determination to an aura of celebration. The traditional marching band so suitable in times of war, to lift and firm the spirit, has changed into a street band with a bit of a party; you know, some festivities thrown in for good measure. Who knows? With an outlook like this, perhaps some of the really good but hard to come by changes from here on out, won't necessarily need to be accomplished by war and conflict.

Without denigrating any of the sacrifices of the past in and for the cause of human freedom, we think this is progress.

What about you?

Please vote your conscience come November.

See you at the polls, America.

Oregon Committee to Re-Elect NOBODY for President

(an Associate Member in good standing of: The Society for the Prevention of the Hoodwinking of American Citizens and the, G! I'MA Cartoon and S.E.W. RU Federation of Loose "but Concerned" Writers, Journalists & Artists. And last but not least, "Geniuses with Brain Damage" Proud sponsors of the Anita Bryant and Tammy Faye Baker Look Alike Contests! For more details, See Inside. America's "Lunatic Left" clocking in on election year 2000. Like ya knew it would. "Bringing to mention" a few highly politically incorrect but rather urgent items that NOBODY else has the balls to say.)

This version of NOBODY'S Home Page will run until the Inauguration of the next President of the United States of America. One thing we are very sure of is that no matter who wins the election, there will be an overabundance of new material for more edge cutting comment.