| Occupant, White House.
The Oregon Committee to Re-Elect NOBODY for President wishes to express
our gratitude for your unparalleled efforts on the behalf of our candidate. Without your
actions over the last eight years, NOBODY's campaign would not be possible.
However, millions of Americans throughout this great country are begining to realize
that NOBODY would be a far superior president than the ones we have been conned
into "electing" for years, even decades. In fact we feel that if the White House were to
be used as a flophouse for homeless DC crackheads, it would be a substantial
improvement over the uses it has been put throughout yours and the last several
administrations.
In recognition of your tireless efforts to boost the candidacy of NOBODY for President,
we would like to award you this t-shirt, as our way of saying "thank you".
We urge you to show a side of your sense of humor that we suspect you to have, by
wearing your NOBODY for President t-shirt in public. In our humble opinion, doing so
would exhibit considerably more taste than Lyndon Johnson did when he showed US his
gall bladder operation scar. Come to think about it, your t-shirt is a more acceptable
fashion statement than Monica's tie. We doubt that you will wear it in public though.
The monumental arrogance exhibited throughout your tenure as President which has
successfully and thoroughly trashed the dignity of the office, will most likely blind you to
one of the most favorable photo-ops you'll ever have. O well. The magic of cut and paste
photography will have you wearing it anyway and posted all over the web. And thanks to
your accomplished Vice President's invention of the Internet, you'll be seen wearing it
worldwide. You see, many of your loyal (?) subjects are pretty good at, perhaps as good
as you and your cohorts, at putting the necessary "spin" on whatever we feel to be the
expedient "truth" of the moment.
We would like to take the opportunity here to point out that there are some things,
eternal verities that need no spin whatsoever. Honesty, fairness, humilty and justice
...to name a few. Although these seem to be completely out of vogue both in the White
House and on the beltway, we can only urge you and your successors to employ them
nonetheless. Regular people still respond to them. The only requirement is that the
display of these verities must be genuine, arising from the heart.
Sir, your peasants or the citizenry, however you view US, from your lofty perspective,
are indeed revolting.
Sincerely,
Jon M. Stoneman, Poetician & Chairdog & Gary C. Marlow, Chairmongrel
for the- Oregon Committee to Re-Elect NOBODY for President
"sometimes even the President of the United States must have to stand naked". - Bob Dylan
"get thee a conscience" - anonymous
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